A Night in the Life of Kyo’s Lower Half
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: He could have sworn it was a conspiracy. Things hitting him on the head, constant 'surprises' in the pants... it was like everything and everyone was out to get him. Everything, except his untamed crotch, which is seemingly out to get Tohru... [Kyoru]
1. Wake Up, You Dirty Boy!

**A/N: **

**I seriously got bored. **

**There's like… sexual references… so yeah. **

**If you're Mr. Sensitive, don't hang out with this story. **

_"A Night In The Life of Kyo's Lower Half"_ AKA** "Kyo's Horny, LOL!" **

"Oooh, Master Kyo!" A loud, feminine voice moaned, the force of the noise echoing against walls. The woman's body arched up to the light touch of leather grazing her bare chest. The voice of a male showed his content with a simple, 'heh'.

"Not the whip, please!" The female begged, although it sounded more like an aroused beg, a plea for attention rather than a cry for help. As the leathery object lifted from her skin, a soft gasp escaped her lips. Why was she not being whipped?

"Is something the matter, Master?" the voice questioned, full of worry and care for her master. "Is something bothering you?"

"Hmmph." Was the reply she received, followed by, "Let's try something different."

Before she could question any motives, the man above her was kneeling between her legs. His head reached down and licked her inner thigh and she shivered slightly.

"So," he mumbled against her skin, pleased with the response he received as his tongue lightly traced her swelling core. "You like that, huh?"

"Mmmm-hmmmm…" she groaned out, looking down at him. "I want you now! Please, take me with your all! I need you inside of me!"

The man crawled back up the woman's body, planting a deep kiss on her lips before lining his member up with her and—

.xxx.

"GAAAH!" Kyo flung himself up with such a start, his blankets flew everywhere around him. He attempted to gain control of his senses, sight being one of them, but only managed to fall out of bed in the process. Trying to stand, his foot got caught in one of the above-mentioned blankets and he tripped, falling again, but this time, managed to thwack his head on a set of drawers.

_'Just lay still, Kyo. You can't get hurt by laying still, you clumsy idiot.' _The Cat told himself, lying perfectly still on the floor. He swore he heard something rattle. _'Hope I didn't wake any of those morons up.' _Kyo blinked as he heard the sound again. He sat up slowly, as to take a look, and was greeted with a solid in the face.

_'Stupid! I told you to lie perfectly still! See what happens when you don't listen?' _Kyo shook his subconscious from his mind and stood shakily, clawing his way back to his bed and flopping down on his back, panting.

_'What a way to wake up,'_ he thought, sweat dripping off his forehead and glistening lightly. At this moment, he could have sworn this particular day was out to get him. _'Why did I wake up, anyway…?' _His brain came to a complete halt when he remembered why. _'I had another dirty dream about Tohru!' _

At the name of his childhood crush, random thoughts involving flowers, kissing and holding hands popped into his thick, orange head. Recalling the last predicament he was left in after a dirty dream about Tohru, he took the right precautions before heading to the bathroom for an ice cold shower. Why embarrass him self on the way, if someone really was awake and moving around the house? A certain brunette in particular?

Kyo imagined himself walking down the hall with a stark erection and bumping into Tohru.

_"W-W-What's that, Kyo?" she would ask and he would smirk and say,_

_"Why don't I show you the wonders it can do, m'dear?"_

_'Oh, God! I'm becoming like Shigure!' _Kyo held his head in his hands. _'I'm so going to Hell for this.' _

Hesitantly, the boxer-clad Cat glanced through his opened fingers and to his lower regions below, before cursing softly under his breath. In a moment of desperation, he pleaded for help;

_'What am I meant to do in this little… er, big… situation?!' _

**A/N: **

**DUH, KYO! YOUR RIGHT HAND IS YOUR BEST FRIEND! **

**… (cough) **

**Prologue, of the sort?! **

**Yes, yes. I know I have weird problems. **

**Stay tuned, I suppose.**


	2. He's Not an Expert on CPR, My Friends

**A/N:**

**Long awaited chapter two!!**

**Well, it wasn't THAT long awaited…**

**But anyways!!**

**DISCLAIMER OF THE SORT!?: The rhyme in the first sentence is from The South Park Movie. I put it in brackets, just so ya know.**

**PLEASE NOTE!!: Kyo and Tohru's point of views change randomly throughout the chapter.**

"Oh, wow! What a wonderful day!" The sun was shining and the grass was green, (under the three feet of snow, I mean) and it was hardly a day when Tohru could wear a frown. Deer were dancing and birds were… well, not prancing, but flying. Still, the brunette was pleased with the outcome of the particular morning. Until…

CRAZED MONKEYS ATTACKED!

"They're in my hair! MY HAIR!" Tohru waved her arms as tall buildings randomly began to catch on fire. People began to panic as gigantic butterflies shot laser beams from their eyes. And, oh no! The cute bunny! He was in the way! NOT THE CUTE BUNNY!

Not the cute--!

.xxx.

"BUNNY!" Tohru hollered, flying into a sitting position, panting like a maniac. Her body glistening from sweat, the onigiri gathered her thoughts and regained composure.

'_What a horrible nightmare…' _she sighed mentally, _'I wonder if anyone else is awake? I don't think I'll be able to sleep after this…' _Noting the loud grumble her stomach made, Tohru determined it was time for a midnight (or what ever time it was) snack.

She turned and slid out of bed at quietly as possible, as to not wake anyone up, and threw her slippers on to her feet. She opened her bedroom door equally as quietly and made a triply as quiet way down the hall, until…

"_GAAAH!"_

Tohru jumped so high, she was sure she was close to hitting her head on the ceiling. As she landed on the ground, she slipped on her loose slipper and tumbled into a heap on the floor.

'_Just keep still, Tohru Honda!' _she yelled at herself, _'If you're still, you won't make anymore noise and you won't wake anyone up!' _Tohru felt tears stinging the back of her eyes as she imagined being yelled at by Yuki, Kyo and Shigure for waking them at such an ungodly hour.

It was then she was hit by a sudden thought. _'What was that sound…?'_

Keen to investigate the sound, she wandered further down the dark passage, listening for any noises that might sound nearby. There was a sudden crash, but this time, Tohru didn't just as high. She smiled to herself as she realised that the sound had come from Kyo's room.

'_Mystery solved! At least I won't be alone in the kitchen, now…' _Tohru was sure the Cat would wander out sooner or later. _'By the sound of it, he must have hurt himself… Oh! I should see if he's okay!'_

Being the do-gooder that she is, Tohru scampered to Kyo's bedroom door. From the other side, Tohru could hear him moving around and cursing under his breath. _'So like him…'_

Feeling sneaky, the brunette put together a plan to open Kyo's door and surprise the living daylights out of him. Giggling to herself, she leant in and locked her fingers around the door knob, only to have them torn away and be greeted by a shocking surprise.

.xxx.

'_Ugh, I feel like shit,' _Kyo had managed to get his legs working again. He had been pacing the room for some time, questioning the course of action towards his arousal. I mean, I thought it was _obvious_ to guys his age what to do when you're horny, but obviously…

'_I can't go out there like this! I swear I heard Tohru scream before…'_ Images of Tohru screaming his name flooded his mind and his face flushed. _'Ah, I have to stop thinking like this!'_

Scrunching his hand into a fist and tapping his head slightly, Kyo came down to the conclusion his _only_ course of action was to step into the bathroom and 'enjoy himself', or wake up in the morning and explain to innocent, little Tohru why his sheets were wet and that wasn't pee.

'_Why me? Why? Why me…?' _Kyo questioned himself numero manyalo (Spanish for number many: D) times before turning and facing his door. _'This is it, I guess.'_

He grasped the knob and turned it, swinging his door open and coming face to face with Tohru, who looked rather stunned. Not only that, she was falling backwards, blood seeping from her nose.

"Shit! Tohru!" Kyo lurched forward and was very close to grabbing her when he remembered he was cursed. Tohru toppled to the ground, muttering about being hit in the face.

.xxx.

'_Oh no! Kyo must think I'm a total idiot to be as dumb as to get a door in the face! This is really bad!' _Tohru's eyes began to twirl as she sat up, only to be greeted with a sweaty, shirtless Kyo who happened to be leaning over her and panting and chanting her name over and over again. His hands were against her shoulders, shaking her roughly.

Dizzy from dirty thoughts, Tohru promptly fainted again.

.xxx.

'_What the Hell is wrong with this girl…?'_ Kyo stopped shaking and calling for the brunette when she arose from shock-induced slumber and slipped back into it rather quickly. _'Biggest idiot I've ever met.'_

Now, as you may know, Kyo was no expert on CPR. Or on survival in the (not wild, but!) halls of Shigure's house. Or anything of the sort. Glancing down at the girl whose head was resting on his legs, the ginger boy wondered why his master had never taught him anything like that. At the mention of 'master', Kyo's face turned a thousand shades of red at remembrance of the dream he had had. It also didn't help that Tohru's face was VERY close to his re-hardening cock (of which he didn't notice had relaxed only moments before). And that her mouth was hanging wide open. And that she was drooling a little. And that she was sleeping and he was just in boxers. And that he could very well violate her in her sleep. And that—

'_Oh, fuck…'_

**A/N:**

**Gasp! Chapter uno numbero twozo (Spanish for number two)!**

**: D**

**Smile on your dial!**


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